|Posted by Apostle Ramona Haswell on July 27, 2011 at 3:50 AM|
"As you know, I had the privilege of going back this past weekend to visit my first Los Angeles based church home where I was invited to participate in our 40th Anniversary Celebration to sing with my former Inspirational Choir.
It was more like a reunion with old faces and old songs.
Our dress rehearsal on Saturday was very anointed and spiritually emotional. And if you would like to share in this experience with me, you are invited to go into our Lighthouse of Prayer FB Group and view the photos. It was just awesome; for lack of a better word to express myself.
You may not understand why this weekend was so profound to me. But as I stated on my status, many times, this experience, brought my life full circle.
It reminded me….. “where I came from”.
This is the church where my first marriage failed with battery and physical abuse and where I found solace in music.
It was the words in that music that ignited the desire in me to find the place that could confirm the word that was burning like fire in my spirit.
This is the church where I heard the call to step into the person that I am now.
It was not until my 3-year old daughter was diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and given 1 week to live that I began to….. understand that call.
These are the people (at that church) who even though I had already moved away, prayed in agreement with me and stood on the front line with me in fasting and prayer for my daughter’s healing when she was in the hospital bed in Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles and had surgery after surgery and received the miracle of healing.
This is the church that knew me. They knew some of my issues. They understood my situation. They encouraged me to seek the Lord. They helped me when I could not help myself. And they saw my tears when they did not know the depths of the secrets that I was carrying.
And it was those issues that as I walked away from them…from that music…from that church… that God was able to use to develop me into His Ordained Minister, Prophetess and Teacher who walks in great Authority….. Prophesying and Teaching “thus saith the Lord”.
You have no idea what I have been through.
I have many books. And I suggest if you want to get to know me, you should buy every book that I publish, because my trials and tribulations cannot fit in just one book.
And with all that I’ve endured, withstood and persevered through, I know with all my heart that I could not have had victory without the Sovereignty of our Most High God.
You don’t realize that it was because God is Sovereign, that I am able to stand before you today and express all this to you.
You see, my book, as Sis. Rhonda talked about; “My Substitute” is about all what I just told you about and then some.
My life right now is coming full circle with the publication of my autobiographical book, “My Substitute”.
This book emphasizes the Sovereignty of God.
Because God is Sovereign, He did what He wanted to do with me and all my issues…
and He brought me here, right here, in His right now timing…
and brought my life FULL CIRCLE so that I don’t have to look back anymore as He is taking me forward.
I wrote on our FB status yesterday, that God chooses to forget, let go of; He chooses to forgive and forget our sin. And he says that you don’t have the right to judge past sins that He has forgiven.
And because He has wiped my slate clean, and brought me full circle now…in His Sovereignty, I can press on! And not look back.
If it had not been for the Sovereignty of God, His grace, mercy and favor; you will find out when you read my book, that I didn’t deserve to get my daughter back healed and whole. Because I show you a glimpse of who I was while I was still at that church that I visited this past weekend; a glimpse of who I was before I walked in the gifts of the spirit that are spoken of in the 5th Chapter of the New Testament Book of Galatians; a glimpse of who I was before this woman you listen to on these teleconferences, interact with on facebook.
If you saw me back then, you would not know me. It wasn’t just the years that have passed that some of my church friends who saw me this weekend didn’t know who I was; it was that the old man was passed away and I am now a new creature, a new creation, because of my trials and tribulations that has been brought to this place of newness…
Because the Sovereignty of the God that created the world decided that I would be able to contain the blessing, He gave me back what I was willing to release.
If God would judge us in our own righteousness, we would all fail; I know I would have certainly failed when he was judging me back then.
Who has the right to be offended in His ways? In His choice to do what He did for me?
He is Sovereign.
My daughter, who lives and is healed and whole, does not remember this experience.
Because she was only 3 years old, getting ready to turn 4 soon, she says what she does remember is like a dream.
So what happened to her, was for me.
It happened because I could not hear His still small voice as I was being battered or even before I married the batterer.
I could not hear His still small voice until death stood at my daughter’s bedside saying, “God wants her for His flower garden”.
And in my right ear, I heard God softly whisper in my ear, “if I wanted her, I could come and sit down beside her.” He told me to follow Him. And from that moment on, I refused to accept the cunning words of the enemy as my daughter’s destiny.
Like Peter, walking on the water, I kept my eyes so focused on Jesus through that storm, so much so that people thought that I didn’t understand what was going on.
And even though, through all that my daughter suffered, it was worth what I went through to become who I am today. I would not change a thing.
God in His Sovereignty saw me in the future and chose to discard what He knew about me, take me through what I needed to go through to become who He needed me to be.
His plan in my purpose as Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, is being fulfilled as I stand here before you, Elder/Prophetess & Teacher, Founder & Visionary of Angel-heart Garrison Ministries.
Because had I not gone through what I went through, all has come full circle as I walk forward and as God is shifting, transitioning and positioning the atmosphere relative to Angel-heart Garrison Ministries."
Elder & Prophetess Ramona Haswell
(aka: Angel-heart Garrison)
To hear more, listen to her podcast entitled, "God is Sovereign", at: www.talkshoe.com/tc/89323 dated July 20, 2011